The Shadow of Shadai

As I abide in the shade of Shaddai,

I feel Your sheltering Presence.

There is a chant in psalm 91

for walking to the grave

where El Shaddai provides a canopy of protection,

but there is no joy here

in the fire of Av

in the narrows of constriction.

I can barely breathe.

But I can hear Hashkiveinu as a lullaby

softening my existential cries.

Listen with curiosity and awe

listen as if a new organ of hearing had been planted

inside this spiral of flesh gifting me with song,

manna for my soul.

Honor all the moods and sorrows of Av,

after fear and pain and dread

uncountable losses

from near death to transformation?

A time of grief and doubt

can also be an opportunity

to find resilience and resolve.

I vow to be patient and kind,

to see the soul of every human being

as beautiful and wondrous,

as pure and made in God's image, B'tzelem Elohim.

This does not erase the waves of grief

but asserts the power, the love and impact

we can have on our world

in answer to the Infinite One.